What the New Guidance Says
A recent parenting guide from researchers at Deakin University (Australia) encourages parents to verbally involve babies during diaper changes. The goal is to begin teaching consent, body autonomy, and boundaries early—by clearly communicating what is happening and treating caregiving moments as opportunities for respectful interaction.
Key Idea: “Consent” Here Is Mostly About Habit-Building
Because newborns and infants cannot give verbal permission, the guidance focuses on helping parents develop consistent, respectful practices that can later translate into age-appropriate consent conversations. Psychotherapists and psychologists quoted in the article describe the approach as “symbolic rather than literal.”
Recommended Steps During a Diaper Change
Experts suggest narrating the process and offering small choices when possible, such as:
- Start with a clear explanation: “You need a diaper change,” then pause so the baby can process.
- Offer limited options (as developmentally appropriate): “Do you want to crawl/walk to the table, or would you like me to carry you?”
- Watch body language: observe facial expressions and movement to gauge comfort and understanding.
- Invite participation: requests like “Can you lift your bottom so I can slide the diaper out?” aim to involve the child in a routine.
Why Supporters Think This Helps
Clinicians quoted in the article argue that narrating care routines can:
- Build comfort around talking about the body and boundaries later.
- Reinforce the message: “Your body matters, and I will tell you what I’m doing.”
- Increase parents’ awareness of how often children experience situations where boundaries and consent matter.
A Controversial Link to “Gentle Parenting”
The article notes that this guidance fits within debates about gentle parenting—a style that emphasizes:
- Empathy and respect
- Connection and communication
- Less reliance on punishment or authoritarian rules
Critics argue that gentle parenting can become overly permissive, while supporters say it promotes healthier long-term emotional development and boundaries.
Safety Emphasis: Don’t Distract During Intimate Care
The researchers also caution against distracting children with toys, songs, or rattles during diaper changes. Their reasoning: children should learn to notice when someone is touching intimate areas, supported by consistent verbal cues and routines.
Use Correct Anatomy Terms
Another central recommendation is using anatomically correct language (for example: vulva, penis, anus) during diapering and bathing. The guide argues this can support child safety by helping children communicate clearly with trusted adults if something inappropriate happens.
A Practical Reminder for Parents
The authors acknowledge that adding narration and connection to every diaper change can feel like extra work. Their advice is to do it as often as possible, but not to pressure yourself to make every change a perfect “teachable moment.”
